Growing up and still, this is tradition- for good luck and money in the New Year. The one I most readily remember as a child is when my mother served us cold shredded cabbage straight outta the plastic bag and fridge + luke warmed canned black eyed peas- maybe salted. I served myself a small portion of each, my mom gave me a look that needed no words before putting more on my plate. It was a challenge and demand- an expectation to take seriously this endeavor (or so I thought). Each bite was a struggle but I made it through. As an adult I asked my mom- what was that about? Why not dress it up, make it good. Was this a part of the ritual- gotta work for it? She laughed, "I was hungover that year and that’s about all the effort I could muster." Ohhhhh!💡I’m still cracking up about this dawning moment years later.
Our connections are only one layer of who we are. My mother is my mother, but she is also a friend, and that NYE she did friend things that resulted in her feeling like shit the next day, something I didn’t understand at the time- I was just a kid. Seeing our relationships outside of the roles they predominantly play in our life is crucial. It allows us to appreciate the complexity of one another, to see each other as fully human rather than as a specific purpose served. Someone with wants and needs, a past of joy and pain + dreams, who we know well and also not at all. It allows us to relinquish the authority of containment and foster deeper connection.
May this new year bless you with hope and kinship- a fortune indeed.