I am outside on a bright cloudless day, thankful for the cool breeze that visits. The lawn is flat and a vital green. Wooden chairs rest upon its soft surface and live oak trees line the perimeter. There are people scattered about in conversation. We are all there for an occasion that has not yet formally begun. I am without company, wearing my familiar awkward. I sit along the aisle taking it all in. Minutes pass before my eye catches someone familiar. In the distance I spot Melissa, donning a white sleeveless sun dress. She too is alone and looking round, but with purpose. She is searching for someone, some few. I know instantly it isn’t for me so choose not to call out her name though I really want to. I am worried it might distract her from the task she seems so determined on- finding her boys. I watch her move to-and-fro, weaving around groups of people, eagerly and ever searching. Her movements I soon realize are pulling her closer and closer in my direction, until there she is- nearly beside me. In that moment I know fate has brought us together. I take my hand and slowly reach up, not wanting to startle her. As I gently rest it upon her bare upper arm she looks down wearing a sad expression that quickly shifts to one enormous grin. She leaps into my arms and lap and we hug for a very long time, tears falling, both laughing. Then… I am abruptly awake and upright, alone in my bedroom two thousand plus miles and a world away, my heart on the verge of rupture.
I cried all morning and intermittently throughout the day. It was so real. We hadn’t spoken for about a year before her sudden death- each wrapped up in our own worlds. This dream weeks later was a gift and a goodbye.
I hope she found her boys.
Love you, girl 💞
December 18, 1981 — March 17, 2023